1. |
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2. |
toast crumbs i: fame
01:09
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3. |
Wet Grade Point Average
02:29
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3. Wet Grade Point Average - a lot of haters be taking to twitter.com saying, “toast ghost is a one hit wonder they’ll never do it again” well you forgot about this hit HIT bee bah/ here we go again! / I do it I feel it I bake it I steal it I appeal I squeal it I kneel I deal it I mail I employ it I destroy it I do a google.com search for “how to do PrntScrn on a Mac” I play Angry Birds with yr cousin all day until the sun comes up don’t deny that! / I’m taking 5 IB classes don’t stress me! does it look like I’m stressed? / I do a paper 123456789101112 I do an IOCD I do an IOCDEFGHIJK /// popcorn popcorn popcorn (girl I love the) / I’m sick of all these people who don’t even go to Food Lion trying to tell me how much their organic apple sauce costs there…etc. you don’t go to Food Lion you don’t go there don’t try to tell me you have no right to be talking about that not to me not to anybody you talk about the prices wherever you talk about those prices it’s uncalled for I’m not going to stand for that so you can go home
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4. How Kangaroo Do (The Group Chat Keeps Messing Up) - “I’ve been doing some thinking maybe I should get into different types of fashion. Does this hat look pretty cool?” “Dude I’ve really been admiring yr new fashions man you look pretty cool man” “Thanks” / that ponytail looks good on you those glasses are a good new look for you yeah boy you look good in blue kangaroo owl goes hoot / kangaroo it goes moo / running into problems with my best friend he thinks that I need to spend more time with him but my mom says, “he’s a bad influence! all you do is say slang and eat Thin Mints!” / perhaps I should play Xbox alone again / high scores my scores scores you would die for talking 100,000 points on the leaderboard a million thousand a hundred billion thousand I’m going to level up soon you can bet it Bowser 50 more XP and I’ll be at Chieftain status wizards Warcraft Modern Warfare champion I log on to videogames, .com, websites, and .net bet Mom says, “turn it off” I turn it on /// I like playing games alone I don’t need Robert I can just do it alone / kangaroo kangaroo “who cooks for you?” like an owlhoot kangaroo owl goes hoot cow goes moo a kangaroo etc. ooh hoo boogadiggadoo / kangaroo now kangaroo come to my town kangaroo has got fur brown maybe it’s purple or pink my eyes kind of stink although I don’t even know red or blue or yellow orange it could be something different depending on our perceptions / yeah Robert it’s time we stopped hanging out so much my mom’s right about you you’ve got a foulmouth yer not a good influence on me / see you in 6th pd
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6. |
Burnt Toast (Get Em)
02:37
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6. Burnt Toast (Get Em) - burnt toast get em! burnt toast woo! I got inadequate utensils forks and knives and spoons / bet you’d never thought you’d see it but now you do Toast Ghost coming thru saying, “Boo!” what’ll you do? “Burnt Toast Get Em” that’s what all the ladies saying Toast Ghost in the club that’s what all the DJ’s playing you know we do it and now we’ve got Papa Corn he’s been here ever since yr mother was born yeah that’s right he goes way back in history now it’s not a mystery do you want to diss him G? /// Papa Corn Papa Corn Papa on the attack and if a ghost tries to steal my breakfast get the toast back 3 foot stack full of fly lyrics and I’m infusing Toast Ghost with my lyrical tricks I like basketball and cooking every Friday basketball and cooking Toast Ghost Men are fly looking cos they stay in shape with basketball and cooking WHAT? /// yeah Papa Corn you totally slayed em on that track (taste buds don’t work salinated) yeah buddy I think we’re making a comeback now they said, “Toast Ghost couldn’t do it again” but they were wrong I think yr mom will like this song /// we did it we did it again
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8. |
Explore The Stars
03:12
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8. Explore The Stars – yes I’ve been thinking deep thoughts quite deep really getting deep with my thinking the type of deep stuff you might write down in a diary or private Twitter and just thinking that planet Earth isn’t doing it for me anymore I need to explore the stars (explore the stars!)/ girl it’s time for me to me honest with you we both know that you are not that cool every time I call you on the phone I feel stunned all you wanna do is chat about the top that you picked up at Forever 21 I’m sick of every Friday taking you to Cinnabon I wanna fly a spaceship into the sun imagine my eyes filling up with lights in my eyes seeing the majesty of outerspace is like a bday surprise so / byebye I’m in a rocketship I’m waving byebye to my pet turtle I’ll miss / it’s true my turtle was so beautiful I found him in the forest and his feet were so moveable I fed him lettuce and I guess turtles like lettuce but maybe he would prefer Organic Whole Foods Brand but that’s expensive I tried to treat you right little turtle now I’m gone away leaving behind everyone on Earth who was lame I hope you enjoy life in the hard shell you have but when I make it to Reptile Heaven I’ll come back /// I put yr thesaurus on his head I wear yr thesaurus on my head we bake yr thesaurus in our bread /// wow! The stars are wonderful they’re filling my light eyeballs with other lights I’m going to Saturn and the moons of Jupiter I can’t believe it I’m going lightspeed I’m going to see some things that mankind has only dreamed of oh it’s so wonderful I can’t believe it I’m going to miss my turtle
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9. |
The Toast Ghost Dance
02:05
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9. The Toast Ghost Dance - First you buy the bread, then you buy the bread Then you slice the bread, yeah you slice the bread Then you toast the bread, then you toast the bread And then you butter the toast, that's what i said yeah you butter the toast bbbbbb-butter the toast bite the toast, yeah you eat the toast wipe the crumbs off yr shirt and that's "the toast ghost” / people are like, "yo! how do you do the toast ghost dance?" well there's one thing that you need to understand this dance just aint for every man or woman or robot or alien or anything else it could be for anybody it's all about the way that you move yr body imitate the way that you buy toast, cook it, and eat it and that's the way you do the dance now it's time to complete it /// yeah i look ok, but i don't feel ok right now actually i feel kinda bummed out i feel like nothing that i do right now is productive and then sometimes i'm like, "just gotta keep making music and fake it and just look like everything's ok and feel good" but that's kind of feeling like i'm a phony and a fake and like how can i do it when i don't feel that good i try it anyway sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't i feel kind of sad /// #toastUPghostUP
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10. |
Attack The Fortress
02:16
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10. Attack The Fortress - Oh that beat! Ha! Hot beat! Mr Snickers on the hot beat! You know how to play that hot beat! Feeling good feeling crazy let’s go / hopping from a lilypad like I was a little frog oops fell into the water now I’m getting waterlogged turn off thee effects and I’ll just rap normal talk to me you’d better use grammar formal talk to who? No “to whom” better know the difference you’ve got to use the proper pronouns little sister oh no bro ya’ll didn’t think Toast Ghost would come back like this these haters thought we’d just sit back and pick our noses like nose-ghost but we’re pros selling power potions that’ll make you fall in love flip flop emotions hip hop devotions make ya’ll sing yr own pro-Ghost explosions we’re roasting / attack the fortress! Mount up yr horses and attack the fortress! We’re getting more hits but we’re not going corporate! Attack the fortress! / when I walked into yr bedroom I looked at a gecko and I said, “Zoom!” and he said, “Hello sir would you like to try on a hat?” I said, “no but I might want to try one on tomorrow. Is that ok?” He said, “I’m ok with that” /// Are there more things to do? yeah I’m sure there is! Toast Ghost! We’re not going to stop tomorrow or the next day or next week / The fortress is within them! It’s hidden! A hidden fortress (that’s really silly)
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12. How 2 Ace The Math Quarter Test [Incipient Toast] - MC Double MC: are you ready to feed yr ears and expand yr mind? Are you ready for yr Math Quarter Test? / I have 3 English assignments due today I did them yesterday and I hope they were ok I had a Math quarter test supposed to be tomorrow but I took it early cos I’m literally the smartest person / Get that homework done ahead of time Then you can play outside or write a rhyme Yo that’s advice from Incipient Rage straight droppin bars Like a rat cage or a falling jail on Pluto or Mars don’t get angry do that Math test Incipient Rage Are you deficiently crazed? Sufficiently pained? /// While the Rage within you grows are you scared of pretzels? Puppets dance within yr soul at picnics and at festivals approaching but oh no I forgot to walk the labradoodle Mom might be mad, better make her angel hair noodle pasta Like Incipient Rage say, “We’re super awesome” If you give us weak beats, into the bin we’ll toss them Then maybe some raccoons will dig it out tonight Underneath the moonlight raccoons having quite a fight Night night aight tight raps is all I provide My GPS is broken but you can’t hide (sing it Ella sing it right now) /// (get em girl yeah do it ahead of time yeah got the voice of an angel) / anger bitterness recrimination horrified and appalled I plan on pursuing a degree at a prestigious 4 year university peace how do I stop? Help! / (nothing!)
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13. Papa Corn Takes Out The Turkeys - Yo Toast / yeah pCorn / this is gonna be tightly scripted / why’s that? / I just had an epiphany / oh yeah? / don’t worry it’s not bad at all / (yeah Papa Corn get em!) 5555 78 73 I can’t reach certain things in the kitchen without a stool sometimes I tenderize chicken with this little bumpy mallet live live live live live crabfest 1972 in 1912 I used to work on the docks importing corn oil and exporting socks one time this guy tried to baste me like a turkey I said, “hey stop pouring hot oil on my clothes yer the turkey!” / yer the turkey / turkey need I say anything more no turkey allowed in my metaphors but Papa Corn knows what what you know Papa knows best Papa rock n roll making Toast Ghost a treasure chest sonically viable metrically sound rocks yr mind like brain gravel take you to town to buy a cummerbund a bucket or a toaster when this song’s over everyone gonna have a Papa Corn poster their dorm rooms are covered with Papa Corn’s face tattooing his lyrics on their tastebuds but not you turkeys his soul is not murky 400 MC’s come to his bday when he turns 40 he’s 30 now he’ll be older later then he’ll give yr mom a Valentine alligator (ALLIGATOR!) the history of this man it doesn’t make sense Papa Corn and Toast Ghost back together again /// Papa Corn! Everybody watch him, he’s cool, he’s super cool! / Papa Corn you did it man I’m so proud of you
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16. My Group Mates Did Not Communicate Well On This Project So I Apologize If It - I have a cat and the cat is fat and he sits on a mat cos he is a cat cos he is a cat because he is fat cos he is a cat and the cat’s not black but he is bad luck like Friday the 13th but it’s not Friday the 13th it’s January 12th my flow is mad wealth (and the cat’s not black) / but no I’m just sitting here because I’m so savage yeah I’m sitting on the beach and my life is so lavish yeah but no yeah yeah I’m yeah I’m cabbage ya ya and radishes mm / cabbage! Ya Cabbage and radish yeah ya / cabbage and radish yeah uh uh uh uh uh cabbage (I have a cat and the cat is fat) / but no bees scaring me yo don’t sting me bees eee yeah (it’s January 12) my man Aidan (It’s January 12) got no pb pb and bees get away from me / yeah but no ya but no yeah / cabbage and radish yeah cabbage ya cabbage and radish / it’s January 12th / i’m not slowing I’m sitting here with this hot beat and I’m just going in (yeah) don’t begin with me ya don’t begin with me bees (no) now you’ll see (no) I’m stinging you I’m the bee too I’m the bee got these thorns in me and that’s like a haiku with my girl Quiana Cabbage and Radish with my girl Quiana we’re eating some cabbage and radish (my flow is mad wealth) (this is the best thing I’ve ever heard) / let’s meet at the Washington Monument maybe yr mom will buy us some Junior Mints I wish my doctor were a goose don’t make me choose between Pokemon red or blue I choose you yer my number 1 choice I love it when you imitate a crab with yr voice you go, “chip chuup” I’m on a magical ride with you (no) all the way into yr mind it’s true the beautiful things I will find will make me turn blue / Cabbage and Radish / I have a cat / but no / have have a cat / yeah ya / no / Cabbage and Radish / no / sits on a mat / Radish and Cabbage / It’s January 12th!
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17. |
Aidan's Birthday
01:20
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17. Aidan’s Birthday - Is it time for a bday rhyme? Aidan blow out the cake put frosting on the candles bday boy about to cause some scandals! / time for a bday boogie woogie woogie ladies make him baked goodies make sure they don’t have nuts in the cookies cos he’s allergic to peanuts like i’m allergic to bees ouch ee ow free penguin dibba dee is there room for bday presents underneath the Christmas tree? peanuts sweet cuts of rhythm pie is what Toast Ghost cooks up on 4th of July or December 18th aka Aidan’s bday sure oh ok murmur words dude yr perfume smells like horse hay let’s cross some gifts off his wantlist ok? / Aidan’s bday better get him something nice or else he’ll hold a grudge for the rest of yr natural life / he wants some cash money, organic honey, Nerf guns, bags of chips tons, 2 gallons of gasoline, paint him a masterpiece, Velcro sneakers, and some other stuff well yo better not delay bro /// run as fast as a puppy run run run run like the wind run run run like a little puppy
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18. |
Liam's Birthday
01:42
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18. Liam’s Birthday - Aight boutta go in (then go in then high ya) / you know what today is woohoo (uh yeah yeah ya) it’s Feb 13 (aight boutta go in) it’s not just the day before Valentine’s day ya’ll (yeah) it’s Liam’s bday you better get him something cool ha here we go (I’m like a beast cos I am so ravage yeah) / is it time for another bday rhyme? (and I got this mink on me got this bling on me) / about to go in? no I’ll go in son it’s Liam do you see him? He’s getting older by 1 his age is increasing so did you get him something? Huh? No? Well let me tell you what you can do about that he’s not going to be satisfied with 6$ cash not Liam! No! This man has literally been on other planets I’m talking he’s been in outerspace do you understand this? He helped film Star Wars he owns a lightsaber whirr whir! He keeps 2 inside his locker he’s constantly sending text messages to Chewbacca if you think he’ll be ok with a lil note or card you’d better try a little harder and shoot for the stars / Liam’s bday shoot for the stars don’t get him something average better shoot for the stars / yeah yeah / he does need some basic gift you need to get him something more legitimate he is perhaps the greatest Jedi Master that you’ll ever meet so get this man something that he needs / he needs a new Rihanna poster for his spaceship he needs those Utz Kettle Cooked Maui BBQ chips /// aight boutta go in I’m telling you you’ve got a whole year to plan for this one day the gift should be something good something cool something real cool / happy bday
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20. |
Fry13
01:28
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20. Fry13 - Spooks and ghouls ghosts and trolls hoooohaha yer in for a scare Friday the 13th you might lose yr Burt’s Bees hooohaha beware beware / waking up like you whatever #RebeccaBlack cos it’s Friday time to have fun after school won’t need no backpack pop some bread in the toaster then I look in the calendar I’m like, “No way!” it’s not just Friday it’s the 13th aka a spooky day / When the toast pops out, then the ghost pops out (it’s Friday the 13th!) / oh no oh my! The toast ain’t just regular it’s haunted toast and im sure you are not ready for the type of ghost that we have to deal with it’s Friday the 13th ghosts we have to share a meal with / SPOOKY TIME SPOOOOOKY TIME! (I’m Spooked!) /// (please hold my hand I’m so scared)
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24. |
Real Ninja
01:16
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24. Real Ninja - (I can’t hear the beat but I’d like to introduce Mr Snickers) / something about being real instead this is what happens / we write words on words to be a ninja you can’t see me but we got a hold on you so weird so strange but all this time we just stuck out we can’t hang out the ninja in us kept us hidden behind a bush / so we’re real but not real uh huh / Take it to the limit to the maximum Toast Ghost in yr computers and we’re crashing them So many questions people asking, “how come we can rock so hard?” Well we’re just having fun /// yeah boy (haha)
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25. |
Fire Ants 'n' Floss
02:04
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25. Fire Ants ‘n’ Floss - Hey (hey hey) it’s Papa Corn (it is) I’m about to take you into the kitchen with Incipient Rage show you around a little bit let you in on what’s cooking (cook it up) / hot! Ready or not? There’s a faceless swarm upon the countertop we can’t flambé we can’t soufflé cos fire ants are in the way it’s the worst ant problem since ’42 which was the ant brigade from WW2 ruin and blisters too so it’s time to relax and eat beef au jus / fire ants are in the kitchen that’s the chorus / composition works like this: Hot Cheetos Takis and computer tricks everybody I know that writes rhymes like this uses Cheetos Takis and computer tricks / Hey Mr Snickers get back in the kitchen I’m out of ideas /// My mom said you could come over on Sunday to work on the project but it would help if you sent an email to Alex, Tom, and Roger remind them that the teacher only wants us to use grassfed hormonefree beef / What are you doing with my teeth? stop flossing them for me!
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26. |
toast crumbs ix: origins
01:12
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27. In Outerspace All The Babies Are Normal [Marigold Honey & Oatmeal Soup] - In outerspace all the babies are normal / I’m going to the dance it’s a formal My blade is vorpal put some torque on yr wrist when you twist n pull tourniquet pomp poms my dorm is full /// in outerpsace all the infants flow smoother they keep their headphones chilled in an icecooler replay the solar fiddle single laser jet pack hot laser orbit solar system attack /// my dorm is full of ladies trying to cook me breakfast they reckless But I don’t eat no eggs dipping in yr necklace I just want to teach them a lesson in grammar apostrophe s shows possession I own yr hammer in outerspace /// when I was young Mom said, “Don’t be a Space Gremlin” now we roll deep with gremlin eggs that we flipping shave yr head if you want some lightspeed shave yr head and be as smooth as you need /// woo ha hoo
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28. U Need Technolo-Gee [Marigold Honey & Oatmeal Soup] - Too busy counting 12345678 / You ask, “am I going to yr birthday party?” You look like a sandwich so I say, “not me” I don’t hang out with baloney and rye You meat between two pieces of bread looking like that type of guy Pie in yr eye makes you live in a shadow version of the sky Here let me give you the password to the wifi P@ssport 95 but the a is an @ sign Rat mines bat flys into a magic mind / all the best sandwiches have capers give me the mic I don’t want to see yr papers I won’t go to a party if there’s not Godzilla the festival I go to is Big Lizard Coachella / I’ll send you viruses and clog up yr inbox I bet you can’t handle my bandwidth sandbox Other types of boxes you need more technology Or else you’ll be sorry g you need technology don’t be sorry G / can’t get a sandwich to come do a guest verse cos as bad as this is a caper free sandwich is even worse my rhymes are deadly don’t sting like African bees but we still stand and other MC’s have weak sandwich knees / Log on to google.com go to google.com and try to log on and search for a more powerful modem but I told you mine’s too fast for you to hold him 99 gigahertz I bet you dont have those megabytes to deal with my firewall you’ll be sleeping in my cd-rom drive Random memories getting accessed faster than I lay down on a mattress after a hard day-- I’m a rascal!-- I‘m getting so many hits I blow them up Download it quicker with a free pop-up blocker I’ll mock yr laptop because mine is much more of a weasel the easel gets jacked up I hack into yr network administration and check yr secretary’s emails she’s sending lots of failblog videos to other females in the office yeah I got this opportunity is coming knocking so I’ll mock you / whole worlds repeated light years from earth judgments whole world hard planets an even harder place to reach Warlock bam thwock flip sock story by.a…??I go ink ah
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30. |
Wet Lost H2O Bottle
03:02
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30. Wet Lost H2O Bottle - Man dang it dude I keep leaving my stuff everywhere I think I forgot my water bottle in Mrs Hayhurst’s class but the door’s locked I need that water bottle man my mom’s going to be so mad / I forgot my water bottle again I left it behind in my science class I forgot my bottle of H2O Oh no oh no no no oh no no no / oh no no no my H2O / Time to start, time for Art, chkchk my throat is parched reach back for my water bottle, be still my heart it’s missing, it’s not in my backpack, oh dear I knew I had it here, it didn’t just disappear I had it in 3rd period, weird it is that’s just like my mind, I must’ve just left it behind it was a nice Nalgene with the screw on cap my mom’s gonna be mad, oh rats of drats, I can’t focus on class /// (PAPAHHH CORRRN!) dropped my insulated bottle now im missing it it was filled with cold lemonade and it’s still chilling it I was at the battlefield park before there was a park sipping water from the early morning until after dark that staycold bottle served me well on all the nature trails better than in ’32 when all we had was water pails I bet Hayhurst likes it but she’d better give it back to me now my throat is getting dry scratchy ack it’s killing me / it’s killing me my throat is killing me I’m getting thirsty it’s killing me (patio furniture) / toast ghost! water bottle! toast ghost! hydration! / kids put yr toast ghost stickers on yr water bottle that way you’ll never lose it in yr science class /
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31. |
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Toast Ghost Falls Church, Virginia
Home of Toast Ghost, records and tapes and CDs of Toast Ghost and friends.
Toast Ghost recommends:
cats, beats.
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